Seriously, I fucking hate this life!

This time i wont gonna use f@#$ing to cover up my shame for using this rude word in my blog, because this is my blog! I wont fucking care what people thinking of me when see all these fucking words because I have had enough of losing control over my own life so dont tell me what to do and dont in my own blog!!!

For a second u juz wont leave me alone yea? Wont u? U juz cant stand watching me live peacefully in my world u juz wanna come messing up everything?!!

U trouble u keep on hunting me why dont u juz go and find new fresh target and trouble them and leave me alone! U juz carry on go against me in everything! Did I owe u anything juz tell me and I'll will return that fucking shit i owed u!

I have had enough dealing with hurt and sadness and disappointment in my entire life so far, so juz disapppear!!! Havent u ruin my life enough?!! I fucking sick of this hell life!

People dont really understand till they go through and deal with these fucking hardships...What they see is the outside which we pretend,or the mask we wear during the recovering process. What they dont see is the inner crying sad soul in ourselves(for those who are having or had exactly the same hardships because i didnt include those who were lucky to born with silver spoon).

People only know to say: Dont be sad. Life's like that.../ Maybe this is your destiny and you'll be better after all / I'm sorry... / MAybe it's because your past life's sin that u have done /There's some other their lives sucker than you ...........And now its my turn to say something: Say that again WHEN it come right onto your face! Now fuck off! I dont wanna spent my life thinking that somebody's life whom i dont know and cant see sucker than me because at this moment i only care about myself!

Do you think it's that easy to carry on living an empty life without a father? Do you think it's that easy to live a worried life concerning problems that happen every day and you have to take care of everything that supposed to be a father responsibilities? Do you think it's that easy to look for help with someone you hated before and now you have to beg and ask him or her to help you? Do you think it's that easy dealing with hurts again and again and again non-stop?
IS THAT SO EASY??? WELL IF IS THINK AGAIN YOU MORON!

They say every difficulties make you tougher, but it's torning me into pieces. It's killing me...Facing all these and feeling the sadness alone, and the whole world seems to want your life...

It's juz like the Conspiracy sang by Paramore. As if they were singing me...every single words in the lyrics, touching me from the inside of me that is hiding beneath me,that nobody could see it, feel it or touch it...